"रजनीकांत" आणि काही "मुक्ताफळे ".............

पोट धरून हसले... काय भन्नाट आहे हे.. कुठून मिळवलेत? * 'जागतीक तापमान वाढ ' ही संकल्पना खोटी आहे, एकदा रजनीकांतला थंडी वाजत असल्याने त्यानेच 'सुर्याचे' तापमान वाढवले होते ते आता तसेच राहिले आहे ..... * देव स्वर्गात राहतात कारण त्यांना रजनीकांत बर पृथ्वीवर राहणे परवडणार नाही..... * जेव्हा तो व्यायामासाठी 'पुश-अप्स' काढतो तेव्हा तो स्वताला वर उचलत नसून जमीनीला खाली ढकलतो ..... * एकदा त्याने झोपेच्या गोळ्याची अख्खी बाटली खाल्ली होती , त्यामुळे त्याला थोडी पेंग आली .......... * त्याच्या प्रत्येक पावलामुळे एक नवे वादळ निर्माण होते , अमेरिकत आलेली वादळे " कतरीना , रिटा " हा त्याच्या सकाळच्या "जॉगिंग" चा परिणाम मानला जातो ....... हे तर खूपच फुल्टू आहेत.... - प्राजु

एकदम ह. ह. पु. वा. गूगल-सर्च मध्ये 'रजनीकांत मार खाताना ' ह्याशोधाचे "०" परिणाम येतात ..... हे सगळ्यात सही....

च्यामारी डॉन्या.... रजनीची परवानगी घेतली आहेस का? नाहीतर तुझा खेळ खल्लास... सह्ह्ह्हीच आहे रे! (डॉन्याचा इनायकभौ) -इनोबा

प्रचंड करमणूक झाली. रजनीकांत द ग्रेट......

लय भारी है ! :-)

मस्त आहे.. छोटा डॉन, अब तु उल्टे दिन गिनने चालू कर. रजनीकांतचा चाहता प्रशांत (हसण्याने आयुष्य वाढते)

येन्ना सार! छिन्ना डॉना? येन्ना सोलिंगा! रुंबरुंब नल्ला इरका! ( काय साहेब!(वा साहेब!)? छोटे डॉन (मानले)? काय म्हणताय! खुप खुप सुंदर! ) एखाद्या गोष्टिला नांवाजायची एक तामिळ पद्धत. संजय अभ्यंकर http://smabhyan.blogspot.com/

चक नॉरींस नावाचा एक महान योद्धा आहे... त्याचे काही कारनामे (???) रजनीसारखे आहेत का ?? चक नॉरींस विरुद्ध रजनी असा सामना पाहण्याची वाट बघणारा .... रिकामा न्हावी -------------------------------------------------------------------------- हजामत करणे हा आमुचा धंदा .... हजामत झालेली पहाणे हा छंद...

स॑पलो...ग॑डलो...भ॑जाळलो....बहिसटलो....पाsssssssssssssssssssर फाफललो ....अरे हे काय चाललय काय??? माझ्या चिमुकल्या मे॑दूला झेपत नाही ना !!! तो तुम्हाला 'कॉर्डलेस फोन' च्या साह्याने गळफास देउ शकतो ........ एका सर्वसाधरण बैठकीच्या खोलीत असणाऱ्या १२०० वस्तूंपैकी तो कुठल्याही एकाने तुम्हाला मारू शकतो , यात त्या खोलीचाही समावेश होतो जनिकांतला त्याचा शत्रू कुठे राहतो ह्याच्याशी काही देणे घेणे नाही पण तो कुठे मरणार आहे हे स्वता 'रजनीकांत' ठरवतो ......... आणि ते राहिल॑ ना राव...पिस्तुलात एकच गोळी शिल्लक, समोर शत्रू २...मग...पिस्तुलाच्या बॅरलसमोर चाकू उभा धरून गोळीचे २ भाग करून दोन्ही शत्रू खल्लास !!! హే జర కా రకనిదేవాలా కళల తర తేరా క్యా హోగా రేడొన్యా ??? य॑डूगु॑डू गु॑डूय॑डू हुच्च्कुडमुडु ! रजनिदेवा ची चेष्टा खपवून घेतली जाणार नाही...हा आमच्या अस्मितेचा प्रश्न आहे. - मुदलियार गोपिकृष्णन् वेणुगोपालन् प्रभाकरन् अय्यप्पास्वामी धमालपुरुषोत्तममणि करुणानिधी प्रभारी कार्यकारी दलपती, रजनिदलम्.

वा काय मस्त मजा आली.:)))))))) रजनीकांत दि ग्रेट......

अजून थोडा रजनी अण्णा मात्र आंग्लभाषेत "Why newton commited suiside?"

आयला आपला डॉन छॉटा नाही -हायला बर का. आता गणपती शोधा आणि व्यासमुनी बनून रजनीकांतायण ल्हिवा की. आक्षी ब्येस हुईल बर का. भन्नाट, जबरदस्त, आमची शब्दसंपदा संपली.

आहे :) ह ह पु वा. हे या आधी देखिल मेल वर आले नव्हते.

नुकताच 'रोबो ' आणी 'रोबो' च परिक्षण रिलीज झाल्याने आणी मी तो पाहुन डोक्यावरचे केस ऊपटुन घेतल्याने हा धागा वर काढत आहे... एक नंबर रे डॉन्या अवांतर : अस काहीतरी लिहुन बरेच दिवस झाले तुला ?

>>* त्याला चालकाचा परवाना वयाच्या '१६ व्या सेकंदाला ' मिळाला , ज्यासाठी तुम्हाला आज १६ वर्षे वाट पहावी लागते .......... असहमत. रजनीकांत साहेब ह्या जगात येतानाच परवाना बरोबर घेऊन आले असणार. हे साहेब १६ सेकंद वाट बघतील मला अशक्य वाटते.

बाय डिफाल्टही असु शकत . जस ऋतिकला सहा बोट आहेत तसं !!

कहर आहेस रे डॉन्या! तुझ्याच पुण्याच्या आयपीएल टीमवरून आलेले वनलाईनर्स आठवले. आता माझीही एक भरः डॉनरावांचे लेख वाचून फक्त डॉनरावांच्याच आधीच्या लेखांची आठवण होऊ शकते.

अजून एक- रजनीकांत जन्माला आला ते हॉस्पिटल त्याने बांधलेले आहे :) आणि वरच्या यादीत नसलेले 1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. 3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. 5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero. 6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it. 13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes. 20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. 26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. 27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club. 28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. 30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. 32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there. 33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. 34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret. 35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. 36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. 39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. 40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. 41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa. 42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. 43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter. 46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. 47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth. 48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille. 49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks. 50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. 52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did. 53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet. 54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.. 57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. 59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.. 63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. 68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. 69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday. 70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out. 71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. 72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want. 73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. 74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean. 75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. 76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. 78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's. 80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths. 81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. 82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist. 83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”. 87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up. 90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. 91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. 92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. 93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. 94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth. 95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. 97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. 98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. हे सगळे आधी चक नॉरिससाठी होते. नंतर रजनीच्या करामती पाहून लोकांनी त्याचे व्हर्जन बनवले.

हे वाचताना काही वर्षापुर्वी आलेल्या ईमेलचे आठवण झाली आणी ती इथे ठेवायचा मोह आवरला नाही. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --Forwarded Message Attachment-- Joke: Why Newton committed suicide Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide..... Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes 1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth! 2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. 3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies... This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast! The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton commits suicide...

मस्त! परवाच एक ढकलपत्र आलं त्यातला हा एक नवीन... रजनीकांतचा विरोप पत्ता - जीमेल@रजनीकांत.कॉम

:-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O ठ्ठो

मस्त :) अजून एक: Rajanikant has a wax statue of Madame Tussauds at his home...

रजनीकांत सफरचंदामधून आंब्याचा रस काढू शकतो. रजनीकांत कॉफी च्या बीयांपासून चहा बनवून पीतो. फार फार पूर्वी , रजनीकांतला चौकोनी पृथ्वी आवडली नव्हती, म्हणून त्याने पृथ्वीला गोल केले. रजनीकांत लाल रंगाच्या मदतीने बिल्डींगला पिवळा रंग देतो. रजनीकांतने पाठवलेला एस.एम्.एस. फॅक्स मशीन मधून बाहेर येतो. रजनीकांत मॉनिटर, सिपीयु, कीबोर्ड, माऊस, चार्जर या सगळ्यांना एकत्रीत सिलेक्ट करून डीलीट करु शकतो. फक्त रजनिकांतच "मुक्ताफळ" खाऊ शकतो.

• Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. • Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there. • Rajinikanth killed the dead sea. • If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.” • Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano • Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced! • Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!? • Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it. • If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India. • When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message! • Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG" • Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret. • Rajinikanth can divide by zero. • Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. • When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. • Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant! • Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. • Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies… • Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead. • Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead. • Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!! - by Ketan Raiyani • Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla • Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !! - by Ankit Shukla • When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!” - by Ankit Shukla • Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!! • The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!! • Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol - by TJ • Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!! - by TJ • Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife. - by Vivek Singhania • There in nothing Rajini’Kant do. - by Pras • Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other. – by Sourav Ghosh • Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one” - by Pras • Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. - by Rajini • Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh • Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle. - by Abbas • Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants. - by Abbas • All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died. - by Abbas • If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him. - by Abbas • Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. - by Abbas • Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas • If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning. - by Abbas • Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. - by Abbas • Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas • Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on. - by Abbas • Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana - by Abbas • In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.” - by Abbas • Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. - by Abbas • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably. - by Abbas • Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas • Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva • In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!! - by siva • 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant” - by siva • Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! - by Nikhil • Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third. – by Arpit Rathi • Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend. - by Arpit Rathi • Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi • Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”. - by Arpit Rathi • Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. - by Arpit Rathi • Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.” - by Nikhil • When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables! – by Harvinder Singh Gill • The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims. – by Harvinder Singh Gill • The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja. – by Harvinder Singh • The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!! – by Harvinder Singh Gill • The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life. – by Harvinder Singh Gill • Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off. – by Harvinder Singh Gill • India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill • An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil • Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS - by Nikhil • Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.. - by Nikhil • Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession - by Nikhil • Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent - by Nikhil • Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed. - • Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. - by John Cena D-X • Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse) - by Joh • Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its scendents now have white hair. - by John Cena D-X • The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′. - by John Cena D-X • We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping. - by Sushil • Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish • If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft. - by Harkirat • Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads. - by Pratik Raval • There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives. – by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense. • Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car. – by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language - by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open. - by Pratik Raval • Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did. - by Pratik Raval • If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity - by Pratik Raval • A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same. • Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth. – by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth - by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski. - by Pratik Raval • When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth.• Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time. - by Pratik Raval • Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga’s poker face. – by Pratik Raval • Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant” – • Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet. • Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book. • Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. • Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. • Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. • Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. • To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. • 10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enact Rajnikant… THE REAL JAMES BOND. • Rocky never challanged the one man who can defeat him… Rajnikant • Why do you think there are no superheroes in india…. Simple… no one can invade Rajnikant’s territory. • Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin. • Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash. • Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com • If you Google search Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen. • Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. • Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. • If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.” • The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, & he got what he deserved. • Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice. • When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down. • Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!! • Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajni kicked one of the corners off. • Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink. • Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog! • Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!! • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai! • Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain. • Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. • Rajanikanth can drown a fish. • Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano. • When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off. • Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost. • Rajanikanth makes onions cry. • It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes . • The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films. • Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them. • When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth. • Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile. • Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant. • Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. • A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning: spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there. • Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth. • Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. • When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live. • Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird. • Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants. • There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up. • Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. • Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way. • Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!” • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself. • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth. • Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise. • Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds. • With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit. • The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death. • When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult. • Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. • Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. • When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down. • There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. • Rajnikanth can divide by zero. • Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. • Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. • Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. • Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. • Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. • Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. • Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there. • Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. • Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret. • Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. • Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. • Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. • The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. • Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. • Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. • Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s. • Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths. • Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. • Rajinikanth knows what women really want. • Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. • Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean. • As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. • The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist. • Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter. • Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. • Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth. • Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates everything that can provide the reaction. • Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. • Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. • We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. • If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth. • When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. • Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. • Rajnikant's programs don't have Catch blocks... Because when Rajnikant's program throws an exception, nobody can catch it! Only Rajnikant himself can!! • When Rajnikant comes online, all servers shut down! Because, the King of SERVERs is online... • Rajnikant never writes queries to the Databases. Databases send their queries to Rajnikant! • Rajnikant never gets a DivideByZero exception. In any such case, 1/0 defines itself.. • Compiler doesnot warn Rajnikant , Rajnikant warns compiler. • Rajnikant can execute a program before compiling. • Default Value For Rajnikant is DEATH • Rajnikant can ROLLBACK A TRUNCATED TABLE! • Rajinikanth invented SQL!! • Rajinikant can access even private member variables from a different package!!!…. • Rajinikant can rollback his age in presence of commit. • There is no main function in rajnikant’s code. Every function is named “RAJNIKANT” And dare compiler produce an error! • Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention. • Rajnikant does not have any data type, because nothing can define Rajnikant. • Rajnikant’s for/while loop does not have an exit condition, he exists when he desires so. • Rajnikant has written a software for himself, where he can set his age to any value he wants. • Rajnikant does not use a key board, he communicates with computer through mind power. • Rajnikant does not install an anti-virus on his PC. All computer virus are looking for an Anti-Rajanikant software to save themselves from hands of Rajanikant

हे डान्राव नवं काही लिहित नाही आणि जुनेच धागे वर आणतात

तुम्हाला एक गोष्ट सांगु का ? इसापनितीतली ? हो हो, तीच ती, तळ्यातल्या नव्या राजाची मागणी करणार्‍या प्राण्यांची. काय म्हणता ? भिकार आहे ? असो, चालायचेच

भिकार नक्की काय आहे ? गोष्ट / तळे / प्राणी / मागणी का इसापनिती ?

हा डान्या साला आधी बाराचा होता तेच बरे होते. पुण्याला येउन आता हा तेराचा झालाय.